Rory will bounce back

Rory will bounce back

McElroy will recover from his Augusta and Malaysian hiccups, of that we can be sure, but Époque will probably be turned out of his home after giving away that penalty to Liverpool in the 36th minute of added time yesterday, or whatever it was. He will, though, always find a welcome at Old Trafford, where a statue of the fell is being erected. Always, though, when we visit CNN, they’re telling us about the latest from the Asian Stock Market, but this time year man Is masters the greatest sport event in the world on the screen was howling about “RoooOOOooRy’s MELTDOWN!!”. Jeez, no escape.The fact he was calling him “Rory”, and not “McElroy”, was an indication the fell has now moved in to “Tiger” (and not “Woods”) territory, a status he didn’t achieve when he was winning tournaments and proving there was magic in them there club-clutching hands.That’s the way, though, place yerself at the centre of a sporting “tragedy” and your fame will know no bounds.And a tragedy, while we’re on the subject, is what “Tony from Emmerdale” suffered at yesterday’s London Marathon.

“I was trying to become the fastest fairy in the world,” he told the BBC, after completing the course in, well, a fairy outfit. “But I’ve just learnt I missed out, I’m only the second fastest fairy in the world.”It’s hard to know what to say to Tony at a time like that, other than: “Well, at least you’re not Emmanuel Eboue.”“I’m looking forward to seeing Delap’s weapon,” he wept, prompting Kev and Sam to call their agents in the hope there was a managerial vacancy somewhere. Anywhere.